In the Quiet

All too often we fill our days with chatter. mindless. shallow. hollow. filler. Just to fill up the air. Just to feel like we've connected with someone else on this vast earth full of people. Full of chattering, babbling people. I realized at work these last few days how often I am inundated with noise. Working at hospital is an assault to all of your senses and emotions. Phones ringing, call bells/bed alarms/bed exits, the tube system beeps, nurses talking, techs talking, doctors talking, patients yelling down the hall, vital sign machines alarming and then there are the cardiac monitors. All this noise overwhelms someone like me that gets overstimulated so easily. Working with some of the nurses I was on the schedule with this week made me realize how much they fill the air with their words. People that talk just to do it. There's nothing particularly useful in their speech. Just griping, complaining trying to get some validation.

Today I was quiet. I use this loosely because I find it so hard to be still and quiet. I almost always have background noise. Sometimes I'm afraid what will happen when I turn it off. But for me, today, I was quiet. I spoke very few words, maybe a couple of "Cooper, wanna go outside?"'s. But really that was it. I needed to get grounded again before more work and with the husband out of town it was a perfect day for some alone time. So I drove to Morehead to "shop." I bought nothing, went to two stores and drove home. I found it curious that I even bothered to go. But on the way home I realized that I had said nothing today. I hadn't been on the phone or run into anyone I knew. It was 3:30pm and I had not spoken to anyone. I started thinking about if I had used my voice today. I had, I had sung in the car, worship songs. There is something special about not filling the air with my mindless chatter and only speaking praise to my God. It felt right, so I kept it up. I haven't taken phone calls. I have just been quiet. I when I did sing praises it meant so much more.

God, let me learn to listen before I speak. Let me be ok with the silence, what's the worst that could happen? I hear from you? Let me be more eager to speak praise than condescension. Let me learn to just be with You.