Think back with me to elementary and middle school. Anyone else get some strange high off of buying new notebooks, pens and pencils? It frankly was the best part of the year. Before I moved out of my parents house my bookshelves had many notebooks with writing in only the first few pages. I often would start a diary and then later when I was older, a journal but never keep it up. Oh the joy of starting one anew. I often anticipated what great stories, prayers, or answered prayers would be written in it. As an adult I still love to buy new notebooks and pens. My most successful journal has been one that I started after my daughter was born.
Sometimes, when I feel like I am wandering in the spiritual dessert I will try to kick start my relationship with Christ by buying a new journal and new pens with the intention of only writing with my special pens in my new notebook. I plan to read and record Scripture that is helping me, to write the desires of my heart in prayer form to my Savior. Sometimes, though, a new notebook and a pack of gel pens aren't enough.
I have been saved since the age of 6, I was baptized at 7. I have had my own Bible since I was only old enough to look at the pictures. I have been a Christian for 20 years. My husband is a worship pastor. I was raised in a Christian home. I have led youth Bible studies. I sang in a worship band for years. I say all that to say this....the Bible is overwhelming to me. I look at my Bibles, I am blessed enough to have 3, and I am overwhelmed. Where do I start? Should I start with one book? Should I start at the beginning? Maybe the New Testament? I really like Ruth, start with her? The prodigal son gets me every time...him? I become paralyzed by the possibilities to the point where I read nothing. Bible study books often frustrate me as well I feel like I am reading "Dick and Jane" or that I am reading about string theory.
I pray. I pray a lot. Praying is easy for me. I feel close enough to talk to Him, like I would talk anyone else. I am even comfortable enough to say "Yunno, this situation sucks" and I am confident that my language does not offend him. I don't just pray to ask for things either, praising comes fairly easily too. So why is it so hard to read His word? I know this is the missing component to my walk with Christ.
Enter Beth Moore. Thank you God for Beth Moore. I'm sure there are others like her out there but I "get" her. She helps me see Jesus in words that I've heard my whole life rearranged so they take my breathe away. Seeing Him makes me crave Him more and brings me back to my first love, a new notebook in and of itself cannot. We were designed to be passionate beings. I should always choose to keep putting logs on the fires that He has put before me. I should not let those fires die out while putting logs on my own fires. Imagine the passion, the reach of a fire that we are both working on. Though I cannot say that doing a Bible study helps me know how to read my Bible it does get me in the Scripture. It allows me to hear Him even though it might be through someone else's word. He is still there.
So remember, when a new notebook and shiny new pens aren't enough. Jesus is.
No comments:
Post a Comment