Have you ever wondered if maybe you just aren't one of those people who get what they want in life? That maybe God has you in a control group? You aren't losing anything but you aren't really gaining anything either. Perhaps God has chosen a career for you that you are good at but don't revel in. Perhaps He has you in a house that is "just okay." Every time you pursue something great either you pick it apart so violently that it doesn't even resemble the original idea or it always seems just out of reach. What do you think He is teaching us in these moments, or lifetimes as it feels? Is He teaching us to be content with what He's given us? Or is He teaching us to reach beyond what is comfortable to where the only option is to rely on Him?
This week I stumbled upon a gorgeous house online. It so happened that the next day my husband had lunch with our friend and Realtor who just happened to ask if we had seen any houses we are interested in. See, the house we live in is what people call "a great starter home." No shame there, we are just starting. But my husband lived in this house before me and when I moved in the house had one statement: Bachelor. In the two years we have resided here as husband and wife we have done great things to this starter home. I have so many more decorating ideas and inspirations, but am reluctant to take those steps in this house because I feel that these things would be wasted. I see the value in making a house a home but I've never saw us as staying here for very long. Plus, my taste is eclectic and I do not want to personalize the house so much that people would be turned off when they come as perspective buyers. So this has limited my creativity a good bit. Not to mention, I am very very cheap!
Ok, back to the dream house. This house is in a way what my husband and I have always wanted; open floor plan, plenty of storage, hickory floors that are to die for, designer kitchen the list goes and goes. The catch? The price. The house is very much worth the price but since I've been working ( only a year and some change) my husband and I have been paying off debt so the cash pile is rather small at the moment. Right now we are not sure what a down payment would in tell all I know is that I would have to work for it, for most likely around 3 years. I know I sound like a work snob. I've only just started and I'm already looking for a way out. But when it came to children it was important for my husband and I to have a parent to stay home with the children. So the children planning may be pushed off some--for a house? Does this make sense? I'm not sure. In a way it does because I cannot see children in our current home and I can see them in the other house.
But all of this does make me wonder about wants versus needs. Yes, I've heard the verse about God giving us the desires of our hearts. But there are two lessons that could be learned in this situation. Here are the contenders: Leaning too firmly on the financial comfort we have in a smaller less dreamy home or trusting that God has put this house in our path so that we would be happy in a dream home and be forced to trust Him and stop relying on ourselves as providers.
