Prayers

I was flipping through my journal I kept through Centrifuge several years ago. It was a difficult time. I was a newly-wed. Newly away from my new husband which I had been only living with on the weekends due to school. I was still struggling to hear from God on the subject of "career" as I was in nursing school. I was stuck on a song called "Hosea's Wife" by my favorite, Brooke Fraser. The words that kept going through my head were

"We are Hosea's wife, we are squandering this life.
Using people like ladders and words like knives

[Chorus]
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin"

I was praying asking "What do I live for?" Begging God that I not squander this life. 

Through all of this I recorded words I felt were from God, my prayer to Him and then
 another response. It was so amazing to go back and read this.

The first was
"Get real. Stop living life with a God-shaped backdrop. Let me show you how to live life more
abundant.  Let me show you what that means. "

Me "God, I want to reach people for you.  I want to be an instrument I just don't know where."

"My people are everywhere-go to my world.  Touch those you have always avoided.  Be open-be vulnerable. 
Don't you know I will take care of you? Don't you know I love you-I sent my son for you Allison. 
Do you not trust me with your life? I won't hurt you.  You may be hurt, you may love and lose.
But lean on me.  Trust me.  Surrender to me.  I will show you in time. I will get you through this
last semester.  Rest in me.  Know my peace.  Feel my love and with that love, love my people. 
You know where I have placed your heart and that scares you.  But, again, I say trust in me.
I will not lead you astray.  It may not be a straight path - But it's my path."

How is it so easy to forget the words he tells us when times change.