Think back with me to elementary and middle school. Anyone else get some strange high off of buying new notebooks, pens and pencils? It frankly was the best part of the year. Before I moved out of my parents house my bookshelves had many notebooks with writing in only the first few pages. I often would start a diary and then later when I was older, a journal but never keep it up. Oh the joy of starting one anew. I often anticipated what great stories, prayers, or answered prayers would be written in it. As an adult I still love to buy new notebooks and pens. My most successful journal has been one that I started after my daughter was born.
Sometimes, when I feel like I am wandering in the spiritual dessert I will try to kick start my relationship with Christ by buying a new journal and new pens with the intention of only writing with my special pens in my new notebook. I plan to read and record Scripture that is helping me, to write the desires of my heart in prayer form to my Savior. Sometimes, though, a new notebook and a pack of gel pens aren't enough.
I have been saved since the age of 6, I was baptized at 7. I have had my own Bible since I was only old enough to look at the pictures. I have been a Christian for 20 years. My husband is a worship pastor. I was raised in a Christian home. I have led youth Bible studies. I sang in a worship band for years. I say all that to say this....the Bible is overwhelming to me. I look at my Bibles, I am blessed enough to have 3, and I am overwhelmed. Where do I start? Should I start with one book? Should I start at the beginning? Maybe the New Testament? I really like Ruth, start with her? The prodigal son gets me every time...him? I become paralyzed by the possibilities to the point where I read nothing. Bible study books often frustrate me as well I feel like I am reading "Dick and Jane" or that I am reading about string theory.
I pray. I pray a lot. Praying is easy for me. I feel close enough to talk to Him, like I would talk anyone else. I am even comfortable enough to say "Yunno, this situation sucks" and I am confident that my language does not offend him. I don't just pray to ask for things either, praising comes fairly easily too. So why is it so hard to read His word? I know this is the missing component to my walk with Christ.
Enter Beth Moore. Thank you God for Beth Moore. I'm sure there are others like her out there but I "get" her. She helps me see Jesus in words that I've heard my whole life rearranged so they take my breathe away. Seeing Him makes me crave Him more and brings me back to my first love, a new notebook in and of itself cannot. We were designed to be passionate beings. I should always choose to keep putting logs on the fires that He has put before me. I should not let those fires die out while putting logs on my own fires. Imagine the passion, the reach of a fire that we are both working on. Though I cannot say that doing a Bible study helps me know how to read my Bible it does get me in the Scripture. It allows me to hear Him even though it might be through someone else's word. He is still there.
So remember, when a new notebook and shiny new pens aren't enough. Jesus is.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
My Quirky Little Love
I wanted to post a few thing about my littlest love that make me smile and know that God made her just for Phillip and I. I know that some of her little antics may be not my unique to just her but they make me laugh anyway.
1. She's my Little Dipper-She learned quickly from her "Poppy" (my dad) and my Uncle Gerald that long before she could drink from a glass or a can that she can experience the beverages held within them. My Uncle Gerald is known for dipping pacifiers in Coke - he started this over 30 years ago with my brother and was very excited to continue the tradition during "tree lot season." Norah got so spoiled by these two dipping her paci that soon she wanted to dip it in everything. If you walked in holding a can drink she would hold her paci out to you. If she found the box of soda cans in the pantry she would chunk her paci in it. She even held out her paci to me when I walked by her with a brownie. She is my "little dipper"
2. She's so tiny. I go back and forth with my feelings on this but ultimately I do love her size. The fact that she has been smaller longer means I can cuddle her more easily. She fits so perfectly in my arms and makes a great "little spoon" I have been frustrated at times because I feel daily pressure to get calories in her. I agonize over her eating pears which I know she will eat versus more of the entree at dinner because she needs the calories. Our latest endeavors in high calorie foods have included adding cheese to her veggies, adding half and half to her milk, and even her own milkshake (vanilla ice cream, half and half and orange juice). She will without a doubt eat veggies but of course those are not calorie laden unless you make them that way. Her size (she's in 9 month clothes at 15 months) is ridiculously cute though!
3. She says "Mmmm" and it just makes me smile. She "mmms" everything including water, milk (especially when it has half and half), juice, and bubbles. Yep, bubbles straight from the bathtub. My little Norah scoops up as many as she can while she's in the tub.
4. She is passionate about her books. She will bring you a book from her corner and hold it up to you. This action is your cue to drop EVERYTHING you are doing and read to her. Usually I comply, I don't know how many years I have to read to her and I want to soak up every minute. Sometimes the mood strikes her to read while I am cooking dinner my inability to read at this time makes her very distraught. We are working on that.
5. She babbles. She babbles with gusto! It is not uncommon for her to lean into you and say something that sounds like "dirk-a-dirka-chic-e-chica" and then crinkle her nose and laugh and laugh. Which means I have to laugh too. Sometimes I catch myself listening to her with eyes wide and bated breath.
6. She belly laughs. Boy is it good to me. Her daddy can get her to laugh like no one else. That's pretty good to me too. Gosh, I love them.
7. She likes to smell candles. If I pick up a candle she want to sniff it too. She's been at this little stunt for months now. It's super cute.
8. She gives surprise kisses and hugs. She does not give out kisses willy-nilly (I kind of wish she did) but that makes it all the more special when she plants one on you. She does it on her terms and when you least expect it. Its the equivalent of the one you love kissing you mid sentence, not because they are shutting you up but instead because they couldn't resist.
9. She is just like me when it comes to social interaction, poor girl. I think she must have social anxiety just like I did and just like I do. She has to survey the situation before she decides if she feels comfortable there. I've seen her around her friends, girls that are her age that she knows and sees frequently, she will stand on the outskirts and get the lay of the land before she walks into the mix. I have a lot of social anxiety and I feel her pain on this one. I was one with my mom's skirt until I was 8 or 9. I pray that she will overcome this before she knows what is going on. However, this is about things about her that make me smile. It does my heart good to see her warm up and actually be playing with the other kids when I go pick her up from the nursery.
10. If I am holding her her hand will most likely be down my shirt. This one makes me smile because I have to smile or else I'll tweak out. Since she has been weaned she has found comfort in putting her hand deep inside my shirt and nestling her hand between my bosom. She prefers mine but she's not picky. She will put her hand down a number of people's shirts. This is a sign that she is tired usually but last time she was sick I had little scratches from her shoving that sweet little hand into my cleavage. It is terribly hard to focus in a checkout while being groped.
There are so many more reasons she is my special little love by 10 is good for now.
1. She's my Little Dipper-She learned quickly from her "Poppy" (my dad) and my Uncle Gerald that long before she could drink from a glass or a can that she can experience the beverages held within them. My Uncle Gerald is known for dipping pacifiers in Coke - he started this over 30 years ago with my brother and was very excited to continue the tradition during "tree lot season." Norah got so spoiled by these two dipping her paci that soon she wanted to dip it in everything. If you walked in holding a can drink she would hold her paci out to you. If she found the box of soda cans in the pantry she would chunk her paci in it. She even held out her paci to me when I walked by her with a brownie. She is my "little dipper"
2. She's so tiny. I go back and forth with my feelings on this but ultimately I do love her size. The fact that she has been smaller longer means I can cuddle her more easily. She fits so perfectly in my arms and makes a great "little spoon" I have been frustrated at times because I feel daily pressure to get calories in her. I agonize over her eating pears which I know she will eat versus more of the entree at dinner because she needs the calories. Our latest endeavors in high calorie foods have included adding cheese to her veggies, adding half and half to her milk, and even her own milkshake (vanilla ice cream, half and half and orange juice). She will without a doubt eat veggies but of course those are not calorie laden unless you make them that way. Her size (she's in 9 month clothes at 15 months) is ridiculously cute though!
3. She says "Mmmm" and it just makes me smile. She "mmms" everything including water, milk (especially when it has half and half), juice, and bubbles. Yep, bubbles straight from the bathtub. My little Norah scoops up as many as she can while she's in the tub.
4. She is passionate about her books. She will bring you a book from her corner and hold it up to you. This action is your cue to drop EVERYTHING you are doing and read to her. Usually I comply, I don't know how many years I have to read to her and I want to soak up every minute. Sometimes the mood strikes her to read while I am cooking dinner my inability to read at this time makes her very distraught. We are working on that.
5. She babbles. She babbles with gusto! It is not uncommon for her to lean into you and say something that sounds like "dirk-a-dirka-chic-e-chica" and then crinkle her nose and laugh and laugh. Which means I have to laugh too. Sometimes I catch myself listening to her with eyes wide and bated breath.
6. She belly laughs. Boy is it good to me. Her daddy can get her to laugh like no one else. That's pretty good to me too. Gosh, I love them.
7. She likes to smell candles. If I pick up a candle she want to sniff it too. She's been at this little stunt for months now. It's super cute.
8. She gives surprise kisses and hugs. She does not give out kisses willy-nilly (I kind of wish she did) but that makes it all the more special when she plants one on you. She does it on her terms and when you least expect it. Its the equivalent of the one you love kissing you mid sentence, not because they are shutting you up but instead because they couldn't resist.
9. She is just like me when it comes to social interaction, poor girl. I think she must have social anxiety just like I did and just like I do. She has to survey the situation before she decides if she feels comfortable there. I've seen her around her friends, girls that are her age that she knows and sees frequently, she will stand on the outskirts and get the lay of the land before she walks into the mix. I have a lot of social anxiety and I feel her pain on this one. I was one with my mom's skirt until I was 8 or 9. I pray that she will overcome this before she knows what is going on. However, this is about things about her that make me smile. It does my heart good to see her warm up and actually be playing with the other kids when I go pick her up from the nursery.
10. If I am holding her her hand will most likely be down my shirt. This one makes me smile because I have to smile or else I'll tweak out. Since she has been weaned she has found comfort in putting her hand deep inside my shirt and nestling her hand between my bosom. She prefers mine but she's not picky. She will put her hand down a number of people's shirts. This is a sign that she is tired usually but last time she was sick I had little scratches from her shoving that sweet little hand into my cleavage. It is terribly hard to focus in a checkout while being groped.
There are so many more reasons she is my special little love by 10 is good for now.
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